Post by Matt James on Apr 16, 2009 15:05:54 GMT
SOME REMINISCENCES OF AN ERSTWHILE BELFAST TELEGRAPH MESSENGER
ON 4™ SEPTEMBER 1939
THE TIME TO COMMENCE WORKING LIFE BECAME MINE
THAT DAY AFTER WORLD WAR TWO WAS DECLARED
TO ENTER THE POST OFFICE YOURS TRULY HE DARED.
AND SO WITH VERY WARY FEET
I MADE MY WAY TO CHARLEMONT STREET.
THE REASON FOR MY BEING COY
WAS THERE THE G.P.O DID EMPLOY
A RATHER STRANGE ANIMAL - THE TELEGRAM BOY.
AS SOON AS I HAD CROSSED THE MAT
I WAS LED UPSTAIRS TO WHERE ONE SHIELDS SAT
KNOWN AS THE SHERIFF BY HIS WIDE-BRIMMED HAT.
HE IMPRESSED UPON ME THAT I MUST NEVER DESTROY
THE REPUTATION OF THE TELEGRAM BOY.
SO THERE AND THEN I COMMENCED MY STINT
WITH MOOREHEAD McWILLIAMS, FUNSTON
AND A ROTUND ROY VINT.
THEN I FOUND IT WAS THE NORM
TO BE MEASURED FOR MY UNIFORM
IN THE MEANTIME A BELT AND POUCH I GOT,
AN ARMLET TOO COMPLETED THAT LOT.
AND SO TO THE DELIVERY ROOM I WAS BROUGHT
THE MYSTERIES OF TELEGRAM DELIVERY TO BE TAUGHT.
I FIRST MET THE MEN WHO MADE THE BOYS GRAFT
I MEAN, OF COURSE, THE INSPECTION STAFF.
IF I RECALL ARIGHT THERE WERE FOUR
ABOUT THEM ALL I LEARNED SOME LORE.
PRIDE OF PLACE TO ROBERT HEGAN WITH HIS LOUD BELLOW
AND THE BOLD "NACHY" DALY
AND HIS FAMOUS "YOUNG FELLA".
ANOTHER WITH GENTLER WAYS AND NO FLURRY
THE POLITE AND SOFT-SPOKEN HARRY MURRAY,
HE CERTAINLY MADE A BIG CONTRAST
FROM WEE BOB HEGAN'S BOISTEROUS BLAST,
THE ECCENTRIC STEWARTY COULTER
WOULD HAVE NEEDED THE LAW
SO SORELY WAS HE TORMENTED BY ONE SAM McCAW.
I RECOLLECT HEGAN'S RAGE SO RESENTFUL
WHEN ONE DARED REQUEST AN INCIDENTAL,
OR HIS STARE OF SHEER DISBELIEF
WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS DUE A MEAL RELIEF,
AND WITH "HAIRIES" HE PERSISTED WITH ENDURANCE,
WHEN I TOLD HIM I DID NOT WANT HIS INSURANCE.
OF THE REGULATIONS BRASH HEGAN MADE QUITE A FARCE,
AS OFTEN HE THUNDERED "I'LL WARM YOUR —-".
NEXT AN OPPORTUNITY I GOT
TO MEET - WELL, QUITE A MOTLEY LOT
THERE THEY WERE SEATED AROUND THE WALLS
FROM EAST, NORTH AND SOUTH,
THE SHANKILL AND THE FALLS.
NO WILD SHAGGY HAIR OR LENGTHY SIDEBURNS,
THEY MOVED IN ROTATION AWAITING THEIR "TURNS",
TO A ROOKIE LIKE ME IT WAS SO STRANGE AND NEW
TO HEAR A REQUEST LIKE - SHORT TURN FOR A STEW!
AND I, TOO, BECAME ONE OF THAT CHOSEN FEW
AND TOOK MY PLACE IN THE EVER LENGTHENING QUEUE.
BUT WHEN ALL'S SAID AND DONE
THERE WAS STRONG CAMARADERIE TOO
TWIXT THAT ASSORTED, MISCHIEVOUS
AND UNPREDICTABLE CREW.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS THEY SAY CAN SO OFTEN MISLEAD
THIS PROVED TO BE THE CASE WITH THAT LOT INDEED
FOR DESPITE FROST, RAIN, SNOW AND HOT BURNING SUN,
THAT MOTLEY LOT THEY GOT THE JOB DONE.
THEN OVER THE MYSTERIES OF OLD BELFAST TOWN
BIG ALEX JAMISON WAS APPOINTED TO SHOW ME ROUND,
THOSE JOYS WERE CONFINED TO WALKING
AND BIG ALEX HE DIDN'T DO MUCH TALKING.
AT LENGTH TO CYCLE I PROGRESSED
THIS I APPROACHED WITH QUITE SOME ZEST,
BUT SOON I DIDN'T FEEL SO MERRY,
AFTER A STRING OF "TURNS" THEY CALLED "HAIRY". AND SO I ADVANCED TOWARDS MATURITY, AND LEARNED I MUST NOT ACCEPT A GRATUITY, BUT YOU KNOW, I FOUND IT BOUGHT ME A TREAT, THAT TANNER CATCH AT 50 MAYFAIR STREET.
MY EGO WAS TAKEN BY STORM,
WHEN I DONNED MY VERY FIRST UNIFORM,
I COULDN'T PRETEND THAT IT HELPED,
WHEN MY NEW PILLBOX HAT PROMPTLY GOT SCALPED.
EACH WEEK TO KEEP US ALL IN GOOD TRIM,
WE GOT UP TO FALLS BATHS FOR OUR WEEKLY SWIM,
IN CHARGE WAS ONE MAGOWAN JOHN,
ON HIM MANY TRICKS WERE PLAYED UPON,
ON ONE OF THOSE PRANKS FOR A MOMENT I'LL DWELL,
WHEN WE, FOR DEVILMENT, COMPLAINED OF A SMELL,
SO JOHN HURRIED IN AND INVESTIGATED,
HIS OPINION IT WAS MOST HIGHLY RATED,
AND WITH BATED BREATH THOSE JESTERS WE WAITED,
THE OUTCOME OF HIS INQUIRY SURE IT WAS ILL-FATED,
AND FROM THAT TIME AND INDEED EVER AFTER,
I'LL REMEMBER THAT WILD AND SO RAUCOUS LAUGHTER,
AS JOHN SO SOLEMNLY DID TELL,
OF HIS INABILITY TO SEE ANY SMELL.
THE RULES AND REGULATIONS W E CRACKED THEM
AS CREGAGH AND GREENCASTLE WE WHACKED THEM,
THE WEEK-ENDS WELL THEY WERE JUST LIKE THE ALAMO,
WHEN WE WERE INUNDATED WITH MANY A T.M.O.
AND PLUMBER H EGAN'S FORTY MINUTES FOR ORBY DRIVE,
WERE ALLOTTED WHETHER YOU DELIVERED
A DOZEN OR FIVE.
BUT AT LENGTH I WAS LEFT WITHOUT GROUSE,
FOR I ANDED A SOFT JOB IN TELEPHONE HOUSE.
THE WAR IT CONTINUED WITH INCREASING INTENSITY,
AND THE CARNAGE PROGRESSED
WITH FRIGHTENING IMMENSITY.
SOME WENT TO WAR,
AND SERVED IN PLACES AFAR,
BUT ONE'S HEART IT DOES BURN,
FOR THOSE WHO DID NOT RETURN,
SAMMY BRADLEY, TOUGHY SHARP AND BIG HAROLD BLACK,
THEY RALLIED TO THE COLOURS, BUT SADLY,
DID NOT COME BACK.
BUT AS THE GREAT MYSTERY THEY CRACKED IT,
I'D WAGER THAT MAYBE THEY "WHACKED" IT,
AS THEY JOURNEYED TO THEIR LAST ABODE,
PERHAPS THEY REFLECTED UPON RED BIKES THEY'D RODE.
I REMEMBER THE CYCLE MECHANIC,
JOE MEGAUGHEY, AN ODD MAN WHO DIDN'T PANIC.
I RECALL TAUNTING CAT CALLS AT DEAR OLD CORKY,
AND A FELLOW'S NICKNAME
I WONDER WHY THAT BECAME PORKY,
THE COLOURFUL LANGUAGE OF CORKY'S REPLY,
WILL REMAIN WITH ME TILL THE DAY I DIE.
I ALSO RECALL A POSTAL INSPECTOR SO SILLY,
KNOWN AFFECTIONATELY AS THE BOLD MASTER WILLIE,
IN HALING AT WINDOW WITH FACE ALL A GLOW,
THE OZONE FROM KELLY'S BONE YARD BELOW.
THEN PROMOTION IT ARRIVED WITH A WHAM, AFTER THE RESULTS OF THE 1 6 EXAM, WITH COOKE AND McNAIR UPSTAIRS I DID ZOOM, AND FOUND MYSELF IN THE INSTRUMENT ROOM . UP THERE A WEE MAN CHARLIE CORR - OH SO COOL, TAUGHT US TO TYPE IN THE TELEGRAPH SCHOOL,
SIX WEEKS TRAINING WERE ALLOTTED TO ME AND THEN I BECAME A PROUD S.C. & T.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I FOUND IT A BORE
TO BE SURROUNDED BY WOMEN - OCH BY THE SCORE,
BUT AFTER A WHILE TO THIS I GOT USED
AND THEIR ANTICS SO OFTEN LEFT ME AMUSED.
THEN I RESIGNED IN A CONSIDERABLE HUFF
BEING FED UP WITH INTOLERABLE COMPULSORY BUFF.
SO IN NINETEEN FORTY-EIGHT,
FOR THE LAST TIME I WENT OUT THE GATE.
HOW CUSHY THE JOB BECAME IN MORE RECENT YEARS
MY ENVY HAS ALMOST BROUGHT ME TO TEARS
FOR I NEVER DREAMED OF SEEING THE LIKES
OF MESSENGERS DELIVERING ASTRIDE MOTOR BIKES.
NOW MUCH TIME'S COME AND GONE
MY, OVER FORTY YEARS ON
BUT THAT EXPERIENCE I'VE FOUND, QUITE A BOON
WITH ITS ACCOMPANYING KNOWLEDGE
OF OLD BELFAST TOON
THAT KNOWLEDGE HAS STOOD ME IN GOOD STEAD
AS ELSEWHERE I'VE EARNED MY DAILY BREAD.
THOUGH TRIFLING THINGS ONE DID ANNOY
THE PASSAGE OF TIME CAN NEVER CLOY,
AS OFTEN I SIT AT NIGHT BY THE FIRE,
WITH REMINISCENCES OF WHICH I'LL NEVER TIRE.
AND I REFLECT WITH INDESCRIBABLE JOY,
UPON THOSE HALCYON DAYS
WHEN I WAS A BELFAST TELEWIRE BOY.
AND ACH, IN 1982 SURE MY HEART IT WAS SORE,
WHEN I HEARD TELEGRAPH MESSENGERS
WERE TO BE NO MORE.
Supplied by Mervyn Patterson former telegram messenger boy T99
ON 4™ SEPTEMBER 1939
THE TIME TO COMMENCE WORKING LIFE BECAME MINE
THAT DAY AFTER WORLD WAR TWO WAS DECLARED
TO ENTER THE POST OFFICE YOURS TRULY HE DARED.
AND SO WITH VERY WARY FEET
I MADE MY WAY TO CHARLEMONT STREET.
THE REASON FOR MY BEING COY
WAS THERE THE G.P.O DID EMPLOY
A RATHER STRANGE ANIMAL - THE TELEGRAM BOY.
AS SOON AS I HAD CROSSED THE MAT
I WAS LED UPSTAIRS TO WHERE ONE SHIELDS SAT
KNOWN AS THE SHERIFF BY HIS WIDE-BRIMMED HAT.
HE IMPRESSED UPON ME THAT I MUST NEVER DESTROY
THE REPUTATION OF THE TELEGRAM BOY.
SO THERE AND THEN I COMMENCED MY STINT
WITH MOOREHEAD McWILLIAMS, FUNSTON
AND A ROTUND ROY VINT.
THEN I FOUND IT WAS THE NORM
TO BE MEASURED FOR MY UNIFORM
IN THE MEANTIME A BELT AND POUCH I GOT,
AN ARMLET TOO COMPLETED THAT LOT.
AND SO TO THE DELIVERY ROOM I WAS BROUGHT
THE MYSTERIES OF TELEGRAM DELIVERY TO BE TAUGHT.
I FIRST MET THE MEN WHO MADE THE BOYS GRAFT
I MEAN, OF COURSE, THE INSPECTION STAFF.
IF I RECALL ARIGHT THERE WERE FOUR
ABOUT THEM ALL I LEARNED SOME LORE.
PRIDE OF PLACE TO ROBERT HEGAN WITH HIS LOUD BELLOW
AND THE BOLD "NACHY" DALY
AND HIS FAMOUS "YOUNG FELLA".
ANOTHER WITH GENTLER WAYS AND NO FLURRY
THE POLITE AND SOFT-SPOKEN HARRY MURRAY,
HE CERTAINLY MADE A BIG CONTRAST
FROM WEE BOB HEGAN'S BOISTEROUS BLAST,
THE ECCENTRIC STEWARTY COULTER
WOULD HAVE NEEDED THE LAW
SO SORELY WAS HE TORMENTED BY ONE SAM McCAW.
I RECOLLECT HEGAN'S RAGE SO RESENTFUL
WHEN ONE DARED REQUEST AN INCIDENTAL,
OR HIS STARE OF SHEER DISBELIEF
WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS DUE A MEAL RELIEF,
AND WITH "HAIRIES" HE PERSISTED WITH ENDURANCE,
WHEN I TOLD HIM I DID NOT WANT HIS INSURANCE.
OF THE REGULATIONS BRASH HEGAN MADE QUITE A FARCE,
AS OFTEN HE THUNDERED "I'LL WARM YOUR —-".
NEXT AN OPPORTUNITY I GOT
TO MEET - WELL, QUITE A MOTLEY LOT
THERE THEY WERE SEATED AROUND THE WALLS
FROM EAST, NORTH AND SOUTH,
THE SHANKILL AND THE FALLS.
NO WILD SHAGGY HAIR OR LENGTHY SIDEBURNS,
THEY MOVED IN ROTATION AWAITING THEIR "TURNS",
TO A ROOKIE LIKE ME IT WAS SO STRANGE AND NEW
TO HEAR A REQUEST LIKE - SHORT TURN FOR A STEW!
AND I, TOO, BECAME ONE OF THAT CHOSEN FEW
AND TOOK MY PLACE IN THE EVER LENGTHENING QUEUE.
BUT WHEN ALL'S SAID AND DONE
THERE WAS STRONG CAMARADERIE TOO
TWIXT THAT ASSORTED, MISCHIEVOUS
AND UNPREDICTABLE CREW.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS THEY SAY CAN SO OFTEN MISLEAD
THIS PROVED TO BE THE CASE WITH THAT LOT INDEED
FOR DESPITE FROST, RAIN, SNOW AND HOT BURNING SUN,
THAT MOTLEY LOT THEY GOT THE JOB DONE.
THEN OVER THE MYSTERIES OF OLD BELFAST TOWN
BIG ALEX JAMISON WAS APPOINTED TO SHOW ME ROUND,
THOSE JOYS WERE CONFINED TO WALKING
AND BIG ALEX HE DIDN'T DO MUCH TALKING.
AT LENGTH TO CYCLE I PROGRESSED
THIS I APPROACHED WITH QUITE SOME ZEST,
BUT SOON I DIDN'T FEEL SO MERRY,
AFTER A STRING OF "TURNS" THEY CALLED "HAIRY". AND SO I ADVANCED TOWARDS MATURITY, AND LEARNED I MUST NOT ACCEPT A GRATUITY, BUT YOU KNOW, I FOUND IT BOUGHT ME A TREAT, THAT TANNER CATCH AT 50 MAYFAIR STREET.
MY EGO WAS TAKEN BY STORM,
WHEN I DONNED MY VERY FIRST UNIFORM,
I COULDN'T PRETEND THAT IT HELPED,
WHEN MY NEW PILLBOX HAT PROMPTLY GOT SCALPED.
EACH WEEK TO KEEP US ALL IN GOOD TRIM,
WE GOT UP TO FALLS BATHS FOR OUR WEEKLY SWIM,
IN CHARGE WAS ONE MAGOWAN JOHN,
ON HIM MANY TRICKS WERE PLAYED UPON,
ON ONE OF THOSE PRANKS FOR A MOMENT I'LL DWELL,
WHEN WE, FOR DEVILMENT, COMPLAINED OF A SMELL,
SO JOHN HURRIED IN AND INVESTIGATED,
HIS OPINION IT WAS MOST HIGHLY RATED,
AND WITH BATED BREATH THOSE JESTERS WE WAITED,
THE OUTCOME OF HIS INQUIRY SURE IT WAS ILL-FATED,
AND FROM THAT TIME AND INDEED EVER AFTER,
I'LL REMEMBER THAT WILD AND SO RAUCOUS LAUGHTER,
AS JOHN SO SOLEMNLY DID TELL,
OF HIS INABILITY TO SEE ANY SMELL.
THE RULES AND REGULATIONS W E CRACKED THEM
AS CREGAGH AND GREENCASTLE WE WHACKED THEM,
THE WEEK-ENDS WELL THEY WERE JUST LIKE THE ALAMO,
WHEN WE WERE INUNDATED WITH MANY A T.M.O.
AND PLUMBER H EGAN'S FORTY MINUTES FOR ORBY DRIVE,
WERE ALLOTTED WHETHER YOU DELIVERED
A DOZEN OR FIVE.
BUT AT LENGTH I WAS LEFT WITHOUT GROUSE,
FOR I ANDED A SOFT JOB IN TELEPHONE HOUSE.
THE WAR IT CONTINUED WITH INCREASING INTENSITY,
AND THE CARNAGE PROGRESSED
WITH FRIGHTENING IMMENSITY.
SOME WENT TO WAR,
AND SERVED IN PLACES AFAR,
BUT ONE'S HEART IT DOES BURN,
FOR THOSE WHO DID NOT RETURN,
SAMMY BRADLEY, TOUGHY SHARP AND BIG HAROLD BLACK,
THEY RALLIED TO THE COLOURS, BUT SADLY,
DID NOT COME BACK.
BUT AS THE GREAT MYSTERY THEY CRACKED IT,
I'D WAGER THAT MAYBE THEY "WHACKED" IT,
AS THEY JOURNEYED TO THEIR LAST ABODE,
PERHAPS THEY REFLECTED UPON RED BIKES THEY'D RODE.
I REMEMBER THE CYCLE MECHANIC,
JOE MEGAUGHEY, AN ODD MAN WHO DIDN'T PANIC.
I RECALL TAUNTING CAT CALLS AT DEAR OLD CORKY,
AND A FELLOW'S NICKNAME
I WONDER WHY THAT BECAME PORKY,
THE COLOURFUL LANGUAGE OF CORKY'S REPLY,
WILL REMAIN WITH ME TILL THE DAY I DIE.
I ALSO RECALL A POSTAL INSPECTOR SO SILLY,
KNOWN AFFECTIONATELY AS THE BOLD MASTER WILLIE,
IN HALING AT WINDOW WITH FACE ALL A GLOW,
THE OZONE FROM KELLY'S BONE YARD BELOW.
THEN PROMOTION IT ARRIVED WITH A WHAM, AFTER THE RESULTS OF THE 1 6 EXAM, WITH COOKE AND McNAIR UPSTAIRS I DID ZOOM, AND FOUND MYSELF IN THE INSTRUMENT ROOM . UP THERE A WEE MAN CHARLIE CORR - OH SO COOL, TAUGHT US TO TYPE IN THE TELEGRAPH SCHOOL,
SIX WEEKS TRAINING WERE ALLOTTED TO ME AND THEN I BECAME A PROUD S.C. & T.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I FOUND IT A BORE
TO BE SURROUNDED BY WOMEN - OCH BY THE SCORE,
BUT AFTER A WHILE TO THIS I GOT USED
AND THEIR ANTICS SO OFTEN LEFT ME AMUSED.
THEN I RESIGNED IN A CONSIDERABLE HUFF
BEING FED UP WITH INTOLERABLE COMPULSORY BUFF.
SO IN NINETEEN FORTY-EIGHT,
FOR THE LAST TIME I WENT OUT THE GATE.
HOW CUSHY THE JOB BECAME IN MORE RECENT YEARS
MY ENVY HAS ALMOST BROUGHT ME TO TEARS
FOR I NEVER DREAMED OF SEEING THE LIKES
OF MESSENGERS DELIVERING ASTRIDE MOTOR BIKES.
NOW MUCH TIME'S COME AND GONE
MY, OVER FORTY YEARS ON
BUT THAT EXPERIENCE I'VE FOUND, QUITE A BOON
WITH ITS ACCOMPANYING KNOWLEDGE
OF OLD BELFAST TOON
THAT KNOWLEDGE HAS STOOD ME IN GOOD STEAD
AS ELSEWHERE I'VE EARNED MY DAILY BREAD.
THOUGH TRIFLING THINGS ONE DID ANNOY
THE PASSAGE OF TIME CAN NEVER CLOY,
AS OFTEN I SIT AT NIGHT BY THE FIRE,
WITH REMINISCENCES OF WHICH I'LL NEVER TIRE.
AND I REFLECT WITH INDESCRIBABLE JOY,
UPON THOSE HALCYON DAYS
WHEN I WAS A BELFAST TELEWIRE BOY.
AND ACH, IN 1982 SURE MY HEART IT WAS SORE,
WHEN I HEARD TELEGRAPH MESSENGERS
WERE TO BE NO MORE.
Supplied by Mervyn Patterson former telegram messenger boy T99